I faked an abortion last night.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
