i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
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For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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