Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize