i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Still dying that you shit outside
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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