East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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