you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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