I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
