dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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