I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
