i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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