would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
