True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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