i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
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I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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