Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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