You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
