She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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