Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
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I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
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I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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