I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
