my sisters under your porch take her home
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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