Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize