I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
