i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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