i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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