So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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