Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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