I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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