You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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