youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
