i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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