So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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