My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
love makes seman taste better
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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