im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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