Did you just see the Batmobile???
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
