we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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