Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
