sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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