just come out here and I will go home with you...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
