Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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