just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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