Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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