This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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