Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
