she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize