Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
