so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
