return my video game
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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