Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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