herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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