babies were throwing up all over the place
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize