i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize