If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
