it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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