Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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