We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
