Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.