Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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