I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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