paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
