im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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