i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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