can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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