the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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